For all that my befuddled mind tends to ramble about, here are a few choice wishes I wish to make, and sincerely hoping that You would stretch thy arms forth, stifle that yawn and bring about a wee lil change in my popped-out-frog-under-a-punjabi-truckers-tyre type life, which I might add, is otherwise happy and satisfied
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1) Let my name, for good or evil, be incessantly chatted and blogged about by those who are not themselves worthy of being chatted and blogged about.
2) Let me not be troubled by the gaze and wantonness of the prying female eyes, who would make me give up my independence and end up being a total sock puppet for weepy eyes.
3) If I am seduced by someone like that, then kindly throw down a bolt of lighting and evaporate me instantly before I decide to commit, cos both you and I know how that route’s gonna pull through
4) Find me a way to pull out these last 15 kilos and not have to starve myself. You know I m in shape. Round is a shape. So quit playing with the guillotine you devised to torture me – the stupid bathroom scales5) If it be thy will, grant me the whizzy idea to start up a storyline for a book because my life is just so ca-raaaazy, that I cant wait to put it into words!
6) If that's not thy will, then how about arranging for me to fornicate with a famous person so I can casually say to my friends, "Guess who I'm banging?"
7) For whatever its worth, just free me from the bondage of anonymity so I might be recognized in a nightclub, or trendy eatery, or courtroom, or at the local police thana.
8) Please make people brush! I know I remember your grace in those moments, but COME ON!!!!
9) Bless everyone I love, more than me, and don’t waste your time granting the wishes of my detractors and sworn mortal enemies.
10) And oh, a billion bucks would be just dandy!
In short, if I had just one wish, I wish for recognition.For in that recognition lies my salvation. My eternal reward for looking heavenward and proclaiming, "I have no actual skills, nor the time, talent or patience to learn one, but people still have to look at me when I walk in the room and murmur, 'Hey, isn't that somebody?'"
Amen
