Today s been one of the most revealing day of my life.it has not been so because of any spiritual,mental or physical journey I ve undertaken; yet, the mind of Aneen Suresh that you read right now, is not quite the same of what it used to be when i woke up this wet Thursday morning.I woke up today having taken things unconsciously granted.I ve been leading this life unconsiously,with absolutely no rhyme or reason, chasing my own tail in circles.Its just been a ride to nothingness.I ve been so focussed on the goals that someone else had set for me; and now, I just feel that while in pursuit of a target, you tend to miss the most beautiful things in life.I ve been the sort of person who was the jack of all trades but the master of none, but today, i do have a single minded dream and a single minded goal.I ve finally learnt to focus on the good things in my life, because believe it or not; I have come to realise that I am not the only person who faces problems, or is in an identity crisis.I do realise that being fat or not a great looker doesnt bring anything to the table, because one doesnt need good looks,great grades or a successful life to determine how happy one is.The thing about life is that it moves in one direction only - and each day we are faced with an actual set of circumstances, not with what might have been, not with what we might have done, but with what is, and with where we are now- and from this point we must proceed; not from where we were, not from where we wish we were - but from where we are.Life itself is a race, marked by a start, and a finish. It is what we learn during the race, and how we apply it that determines whether our participation has had a particular value. If we learn from each success, and each failure, and improve ourselves through the process, then, at the end, we have fulfilled our potential and performed well.Its that moment in time when Life truly resembles heaven.


Life becomes heaven, when you take time out to smile at someone, buy a kid an ice cream, say thank you to a rickshaw wala,help out an uncle cross the road, or an aunty with her bags. Heaven is when you give your first paycheck to your dad, or buy your mom that first set of ear rings she s always wanted. Heaven is when you have friends that would not die for you, but will sit and cry or laugh or scream out "Ghaati Hindi Songs" at random. Heaven is when you hear her say I love You Jaan, or share laughter, or even those minutes on the phone when you dont need words to say what you feel [even when silence is not affordable].Heaven is the choice to be where you choose to be, do what you wanna do,party with the people you care, be with that one person who makes you blush, and to wake up with that happ contented feeling in your tummy and a 74mm smile on your face.It is when you glow and beam for no reason what so ever.Its when you truly feel the purpose of why you re here on earth





Why am I ranting and raving so much about this??This bounty of Zen or overdoese of nirvana if you will!! Well, I saw myself on screen, on a big 70mm Screen. Dont trust me!! Well, Go watch "Wake up Sid"!! Its the new Ranbir Kapoor-Konkona Sen Sharma starrer, directed by debutant Ayan Mukherjee.There s nothing pretentious about this movie.Its not made to oreach, nor is it made as a masala Bollywood movie.It s made with one purpose in mind..to serve absolutely no purpose.Having said that, it does make you feel warm and fuzzy at the end of it.It is for people like me, who have dreams but no direction, attitude to achieve but no outlet,unconventional but forced to be in the conventional.It is about dreams and to look at the world through a different way.But what strikes me most, about how much i could relate to it [Other than the use of both my first name and my nick name] is the fact of how much it resembled my real life.

I used to be the party hopping,vodka and red bull drinking,friends-is-my-life,socks and boxers sort of guy without a care in his life, until my dad put me on a plane to India to survive.Survival got thrown in the bin, and i became this whiny,complaining wart of a person, who ended up as being the most pessimistic guy that could ever be there.Having failed a year and a half at college, I was down on my luck and happiness.But there was still that joy I had, which noone could ever take away.This BLOG!! I ve always wanted and dreamt to be a writer, until dentistry happened to me.Frankly, I dont enjoy the daily dose of cramming, but i do find release and happiness in writing endlessly on my laptop.I enjoy taking pictures on my DSLR.I enjoy modifying them on Photoshop or Blingee! I m perpetually in shorts and hoodies.I ve always craved the feeling of being a child.But there was something about India that foreced me to abandon who I was and become what everyone around me wantedme to be.And so driven was I in this, that I started hating my life and everything in it.I didnt even manage to stop look and appreciate the smaller things around me, which in fact were the ones that made me happy beyond all recognition.



I didnt realise how much I love my mother, how wonderful it used to be when we had those long walks together on the beach.I love the way she calls me Syddie, and the way she pampers me, and thinks that whenever something is wrong with me, she should go and buy something that I ve really wanted no matter how expensive it was.I love the way she tried to put on make up when I thought she wasnt Hip enough to be amongst my friends.I love the way she tries to organise my room, even though I m still organised.I love the way that she tells me that she d break my bones if i married outside the community but took in every girlfriend that I had.I love my mom and I do believe that she s the best thing in my life.



I love Shruti.She s my rock and she s my anchor.She s awesome, witty, silly, a tubelight [which frustrates the livinf daylights outta me], but she s someone who loves me beyond measure.Even though she can never ever find the ways to tell me that she loves me, I do know from that precocious smile which goes A-ha-ha-ha-haaa, to the way she goes aneenaneenaneenaneen and the way she says BLUSH just to hear me smile, its little things like those that I notice,rather than the full fledged love-ship that we sail on.She s the wind beneath my wings, and truly life would be truly incomplete without her in my life.I would not be without her, and I would nt be the Aneen I am today without her.She is a piece of the puzzle, the very keystone to my life.I never knew where she fit,but she did fill the holes in my life with pieces of her.With her I realised that,until now I saw life as a series of moments but the trick behind her magic is that she showed me how to be in the moment




I love my Compaq V6000.Its the first ever laptop I ve had that I truly loved.Though I do own better models, I always come back to this one, as it is more personalized than anything I ever owned.Its been there for me through good times and bad.Its been the one thats been undying,despite a dead audio driver and DVD drive, it still brings me immense joy that no other device of mine has ever brought.




I love my Nokia 6131i.It s the first phone that I ever bought.Its the one phone that I turn to in times of need.Even now, though i do complain that it s the worst phone ever, secretly I really do love it a lot.It s what helps me connect to the people i love.Its one phone that has never died on me,ever.And its one thing that keeps me connected no matter where I am.Even now,when my Xperia s recovering after a bad water attack, the 6131i still keeps me connected to my girl even at night.



La but not the least, I love BulletProof Punk and battleStar Scratchalactica. Its been my soul, Its been my release, its been my best friend who listened to me,and took the brunt of all my lashing.It took in my creativity to a neew level, and it found me my love cos she flipped for my words.My life would be incomplete without my blog, and somewhere in here are the unfinished portions of my soon forthcoming book.

The recent wave of happiness that s come into my life is all because of Shruti.We ve sat hours chatting about how our life would be, we designed our dream house nad we even got a pet dog called Frodo.We know what wall colour our house will have, and how our bed,coffee table,lamps,cushions and pillows will be.We know what cars we re gonna get, and how my office timings will be.We know that Arishta.Aleysha and Agnitra [plus SHAKKAAAAAA, if there is one], will be very very happy together.We know that they ll be going abroad to study and we ll get settled together and go out into the sunset together.Its heaven to have found someone that you re truly in sync with.Its like she doesnt need words to communicate with me and vice versa.Thats what you call happiness.Happiness is her.Happiness is being with her.Happiness is direction with her holding my hand.Happiness is the love she showers on me without even knowing.Happiness is the trust and faith she sees in me.Happiness = Shruti.

Today, I ve truly come to strange contented realisation, that my life isnt so bad after all. In fact, its way better than what other people could ever achieve in their lifetime.Today I have a clear picture of what I love and what I want.Today, I m truly happy.For once, I dont feel the need to ever escape because I have what I ve always wanted.I have a beautiful family,loving parents, financially well [umm good], and physically well.I have a girl that loves me to death, and I wake up every morning feeling warm,fuzzy and content.There is always something to be enjoyed in any experience when you look for it. You cannot control the world outside you, but you can choose what you will bring into yourself and what you will remember about the day.If you do not see anything of value in your life, begin today and everyday hereafter by finding one thing of beauty until it becomes a habit.Each time you experience beauty, you will notice a warm feeling that is hard to put into words. These feelings will show you the wonder of life. You will see for yourself that the accumulation of these feelings will give you a love for life. The experience of these warm feelings from our soul is what makes life important. When you experience a love of life, you will enjoy your life and know it has great meaning.If you never look for the beauty of life, who is the person who really misses ouut.People will never have to tell me to wake up anymore, because on 022-10-2009 Syd has finally woken up!!



My message at the end of this blog is pretty simple :

Live out loud! Live life to it's fullest. Don't just laugh out loud, but cry out loud as well. Take all those wonderful feelings you have and let them out, they are the key to making your dreams come true. You need to know your feelings, so they can lead you down the path you were meant to follow. Max it all out when it comes to living your life, meet your end, exhausted, but happy with the knowledge you lived your life to the fullest.