One of the best feelings in the world is complete and total apathy. Not just any form of apathy; It s the apathy towards somebody who you used to live & die for. Somebody who could make or break your day with a bat of their eyes, or a flash of their smile. Of course, it feels better to be happy with this person, but we all know this doesn’t happen nearly as much as it should.The least you can get close to this is if were in a fairytale, or in a Bollywood movie.

The apathy comes in after you get over the hurt this person has inevitably caused you, and then keeps an indomitable track of what you do, where you go to and who you see.She has to know what every facet of your life has been up to.It kinda bugs me when people say that you re out of a relationship , and you re still friends. Its kinda dumb, and totally contra lateral to nature's unbreakable laws. After Newton, the next fundamental law s that,post a relation, you can never look at your partner the same way as you did before.People who do, ought to be sent back to the dimension the teleported themselves from.

Whether it be through unrequited feelings, personal issues, whatever,they have to get close to you some way or the other.I had been incassently been bogged down by a certain ex, dogged down after a real bad break up.Supposedly, the spark of the fling post us,had died down. And now, someone s feeling guilty and wants to make up.

The thing is : if you care about somebody and it doesn’t work out…well that sucks. But the beauty of time is that, eventually, you won’t be as crushed over it. You realize that it just wasn’t meant to be and move over to greener pastures.Suddenly you realise that the world is not as myopic as we see it when we re with someone.You see parents,siblings,friends and other characters around you post your break up.You notice that the world does not revolve around IM pings,Orkut scraps, Myspace mails,SMSs or phone calls.You re conditioned to skip a beat when the cell phone vibrates, but now, the phone is just another accessory.YOU FINALLY GET CURED OF YOUR ILLNESS.TIME HEALS EVERYTHING!! HALLELUJAH !!!

So, getting back together...after all that..is that even an option?? For once, you re tempted to think the other way..After all the detoxing from the effects of her laughter, you re tempted to fall back into old habits.

And then comes the relapse. Sure, it isn’t exactly unavoidable from a logistical standpoint, but we’ve all been there. You shut off your brain, and you dive right back in. Maybe you sleep together, maybe it’s just a kiss, maybe you just let yourself look at her the wrong way.

The relapse wrecks you on multiple levels.

Firstly, it destroys all the work you have done to get over the aforementioned girl. You feel awful.You spent all that time & effort to get over this girl. You knew it was a bad situation, and hard as it was, you got over it. You accomplished something. After the relapse, you are back at ground zero. You have to start all over again, and as any junkie knows, those first few days are the worst. You have to re-start the freeze out, the aloofness. Because, now, you can’t trust yourself.

Of course, this leads to the bigger problem. You fall back into your old trap. You start to think that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different. You want to get back in the game. This time you will be better, smarter, funnier. You’ll say all the right words, and the problems of the past won’t be there. This is one of the most spectacular lies you’ll concoct for yourself. And you fall for it. Every single time.

People tell themselves lies all the time. In bad times, we try and convince ourselves things are fine, and they aren’t that bad. We never believe we deserve the karma we get, even if we most likely do. We have huge blind spots when we examine our faults. This is especially true when talking about relationships.There are certain lies we tell ourselves about the opposite sex. Here are a few:

You Just Don’t Understand

This is kind of, like the abused girlfriend lie. If you are in a bad relationship you justify all the the things that you wouldn’t do if you saw a person in the same situation. You tell everybody that they don’t know the whole story, that it’s different. Everybody thinks their relationship is special and unique, well, it isn’t. I think a lot of the reason people think their relationship is better than it is is to to the basic fear of being alone. When your in a relationship there is a certain comfort level there. You have built in Friday night plans, you don’t go to bars with eyes of meeting someone. You don’t have to go through awkward dates, and small talk. You don’t have to be someone who you think others will find interesting. You can be yourself. You can relax in your old skin. Of course, when the relationship fails, you start to realize just how bad it really was.

There is nothing going on.

At the heart of it, I think human beings are petty, jealous creatures. Anytime we see a guy and girl together, in friendly interaction people like to always assume at the heart of it there is flirting, attraction, and a subtext. You see a guy and girl laughing and it automatically assume that something is going on. A lot of the time this is dead wrong, but then again sometimes there is something under the surface.

This is the lie we tell to convince ourselves one of two things.

1. We don’t like someone.
2. Somebody doesn’t like us.

This could be all sorts of reasons. Maybe we are already in a relationship, and can’t actually be with the other person. Maybe you don’t think you could handle being with said person. Maybe you don’t want to change the dynamic. Maybe you just don’t want to cop up to your feelings for them. There could be a million different reasons for this (and no, I won’t be starting a list of those on a second site).

They are exactly what I’m looking for.

This is the flip side of the previous lie. Sometimes we lie about who we like, but other times we lie to ourselves about certain people. We think they are great for us because, on paper, maybe they are. You try and force the relationship. You really try and convince yourself how great things are, but something is missing, and you will never be able to put your finger on it. Again, maybe part of it is the fear of being alone, or maybe you just like the person enough to really try and push the relationship.

What a Mistake I Made With......

People love to villainize their exes. After a bad breakup, we refuse to see the good in the relationship. Of course, during a bad breakup, people tend to be on their worst behavior, and aren’t themselves. So it makes it extremely easy to think of what a horrible person their ex is. Of course, in the rare circumstance, this is completely founded.

You regret every associating yourself with this person, let alone dating them for X amount of time. But the fact of the matter is that there was something there. You saw something in this person. Whether time has caused it to fade, and bad moments have spoiled all the good ones, there was still something that kept you with this person. That made you happy at the time. I think time and hindsight are a blessing with this one. I have really put perspective on some of my past relationships, and realized how good/bad they all were in the long run.

This Time Will Be Different
This is the biggest one of all.. cos IT AINT HAPPENIN!!!!!!Dream on...cos the reason you broke up in the first place will be the starting point of the first fight .. and you ll be left wondering , why you even bothered to get back in the first place?!!!!!!




So, the moral of the story goes :: Past hookups never work...FULLSTOP