This is one post which I had been waiting to write since the past four months yet couldn’t make it. As the call of the emptiness was weighing too heavy on my pen, It is these apparent mood swings that i go through that shuffle across as me being THE most unpredictable person on the face of this earth.

Suddenly I find myself caught in a thoughtless abyss, and I go on treading the fretful path! Wondering about future, managing other’s expectations, taking the easier route and losing touch of the present…

I spoke to my friends and colleagues about this feeling and I heard a similar echo everywhere,albeit hushed up, because noone wants to accept that inside there s a raging typhoon of confusion.

The struggle for success, fight against unknown competitors, striving to give the best has dwindled the quality of life. Most of the friends I spoke to has nothing more to discuss than job, career and role. And a few had everything to say other than about work!

Blogging doesn’t engage me for the joy of writing.It has now become a medium that bears the brunt of the frustration i have.It gets the force of all my mental lashing and leaves me peaceful at the end of each time i press "Publish Post"

I felt as if I am being sucked in to a crib club. It’s been a truly mad three months for me as a longed for a wild break. I wanted something more. A new challenge, an exciting trip, or a fresh role may be! I thought I had learnt whatever I could and that dampened my spirit. And then started Sowmya’s trials at work and Bhavik trying to score an admission into a good school despite working really hard and getting 80% marks.Somehow, it comes across that the work people put across get lost in the margins of over achievers.

Im kinda bugged about my parents constantly on my case about getting my degree done with so I can get a 8-4 job and take over the family.Well, thats not me.And I really am tired of having to live their dreams out.I know i sound really selfish, but it seems like all that I ve worked for, never seems enough.Nothing ever seems to catch their attention and say Good Job Son.It s always a crib trip.I kinda feel jealous when they talk to my brothers as if they re correcting the mistakes they made with me.My dad realised that when Chip lashed out at him for the pressures we face. i m so confused at who to be angry at: myself or the people around me.because I feel lost in a sea of like minded thinking souls, and its a shame my brains dont work like them.

I have become less efficient always considering work as duty, and ended up in a self pity soup. Until, realization dawned on me.I am in a unique role where I could do whatever I can, learn whatever I can muster and explore my potential. I had my cake till now.It’s just a gloomy and lonely spell I was under. Wondering about my personal status as a man and a professional status in life and how do I manage my parents expectations along with that.

I wanna take a break,go home, and do somethign that excites me because as of now, i feel dull and spent.I want to start on my book.I really do.I wanna sit at my MS Office 2009, which just simplified my task and opened new avenues in presentations.

AS OF NOW, MY Life is good, as long as it had something new to savor, learn and experience!